Kick - Sudden Death (2015)

The soccer is murderous in ‘Kick – Sudden Death’ (2015)

Is it fair to write a review when I abhor horror movies? To add to my dilemma, I could not force myself to finish watching Kick – Sudden Death because it simply defied logic. Maybe that’s what horror movies do; since I don’t watch them, I can’t really judge. So to compensate, I will keep this review short.

In the story, 2 young men work side by side in magazine sales. Dapper Dan (Rik Young) looks a bit like Keanu Reeves, lives beyond his means (drives a Range Rover!), and seeks thrills. Steadier Steve (Daniel Bayle) follows his mate as they pay big money to sneak into a stadium to play football.

Once the game is over though, the lights go out and some lads are locked in. The real game begins as the slasher (Richard Strange) hunts them down in the dark. The killer manages to throw a spear into Dan’s leg, leaving the player to hobble around without bleeding to death.

There is a lot of back and forth between the action and Steve’s girlfriend worrying about where he is and why he’s late for dinner. I stopped watching the film when the now unsteady Steve became too shaky to light matches that could lead them to safety. I fast forwarded to the ending and was relieved that I skipped the rest.

In Conclusion

This is one of those movies from a budding filmmaker (Writer-Director Marcus Warren), where the kindest thing to do would be to not write a review at all. But maybe I’m completely wrong, and this is a marvelous horror movie. It’s certainly the only soccer slasher I’ve watched so far. Maybe next time, they could keep the title but stick to hockey instead.

Note that Kick was retitled Kick – Sudden Death for Amazon, and I kept the longer title for this review because there are just too many movies named Kick.

4 Soccer Movie Mom Rating = 4