Tag: R4

SoccerMovieMom Rating = 4 out of 10 – a little below average

The Pogmentary (2022) deserves its 1.8 rating on IMDB

Post author By MJ-A
Post date June 20, 2022

The Pogmentary (2022) - Le Pogmentaire

I’m grumpy. This is my first review in months, and I’m writing about Le Pogmentaire — The Pogmentary — a 5-episode Amazon series on Paul Pogba that has no purpose other than branding. Save yourself a few hours and just watch the trailer — that’s pretty much the whole show.

Amazon announced the series in Apr-2021, and it seems the cameras followed him around for a year and then — gave up. After a post-WC 2018 dip in his career, Summer 2021 expected to see France win the 2020 Euros (delayed one year due to COVID). And 2021 was the last year of his 6-year contract at Manchester United; where was he going to go next? Who was going to sign “Le footballeur le plus cher au monde” — the world’s most expensive footballer??

Unfortunately for both Pogba and the story, Pogba started the 2021 Premier League season well, but got injured in November. And ManU was experiencing its own self-inflicted injuries and terminal illnesses: a pile of debt, bringing back Cristiano Ronaldo, running through 3 coaches in one season, helping to orchestrate the breakaway European Super League, and losing its front office (maybe a good thing). By the end of the season, ManU in a state of decision disability, announced on Jun-1-2022, that its big ticket players were leaving as free transfers.

The fact that Pogba, just 2 weeks before this series was released, had no apparent place to go, is probably due to the death of Mino Raiola, his super agent. But if anything strikes you in this series, it is that Pogba, like Neymar, is maybe not that into football anymore. Pogba is about being a Dad, being a celebrity influencer, maybe becoming an actor, and becoming an American businessman athlete like LeBron. Basketball after all, is his favorite sport after soccer. With all the animations of himself, it also feels like Pogba wants to be a cartoon super hero. Good luck to him.

The soccer

It’s hard to even watch the first 2 episodes of this series because Pogba is so introverted and isolated. He spends a lot of time in his closet, which is the size of most living rooms. And the soccer? There is so very little, presumably because no one wanted to pay for the broadcast rights. Or is it because, like the Neymar series, Pogba does not have a lot of football highlights to show? Pogba might have been the most expensive footballer in the world, but he’s clearly not the best.

It’s shocking to realize that Pogba is only 1 year younger than Neymar, who is clearly coming to an early end to his playing career. It feels like Pogba will arrive in MLS sooner than Neymar and Messi. The series shows Pogba visiting Blaise Matuidi’s home in Miami and wearing Blaise’s Inter Miami FC jersey. But it leaves out that fact that Inter Miami flagrantly violated MLS rules when it signed Matuidi, and Matuidi was removed from the 2022 roster.

I wrote in my Neymar review that the man didn’t come close to being the next Pelé, he was really the Brazilian Beckham. By analogy, Pogba is the French Neymar.

Mino Raiola shines

The only entertaining part of this series is the footage of Mino Raiola. The guy is a charmer and it’s not possible to dislike him, even though he may have single-handedly ruined football. The best quote about his business approach is:

“The Mercato – there are only so much pieces of art in the world. You have 20 people who want to buy one Pogba.”
– Mino Raiola

IMDB rating 1.8

The Pogmentary – 1.8 rating on IMDB on Jun-20-2022

I know the series only just came out, but it has the lowest rating I’ve ever noticed on IMDB: 1.8. It turns out that Black Dynamite Production is also responsible for 2 other soccer movies I’ve reviewed: the very bad Anelka, Misunderstood and Les Bleus, which I enjoyed but thought had some implicit bias.

4 Soccer Movie Mom Rating = 4

Resources:

Released: 2022-06-17 (Amazon)
In French and English with English sub-titles
IMDB
Director: Jérémie Levypon
Stars: Paul Pogba , Zulay , Mino Raiola
Watch the Trailer
Black Dynamite Production on facebook

Tags French, R4, Series

Suspense

The soccer is murderous in ‘Kick – Sudden Death’ (2015)

Post author By MJ-A
Post date February 18, 2021

Kick - Sudden Death (2015)

Is it fair to write a review when I abhor horror movies? To add to my dilemma, I could not force myself to finish watching Kick – Sudden Death because it simply defied logic. Maybe that’s what horror movies do; since I don’t watch them, I can’t really judge. So to compensate, I will keep this review short.

Tags British, Horror, R4, USA

Documentary

‘Argentina Fútbol Club’ (2010) es soporific

Post author By MJ-A
Post date November 19, 2020

Argentina Fútbol Club (2010)

I had trouble understanding the title of Argentina Fútbol Club. This is not the name of an actual club, and the documentary describes itself as a brief chronicle of the rivalry between Argentine clubs Boca and River Plate.

Tags Argentina, fans, R4, USA

Documentary

It’s hard to feel sorry for ‘Anelka: Misunderstood’ (2020)

Post author By MJ-A
Post date September 19, 2020

Anelka: Misunderstood (2020)

Celebrity documentaries and series have been streaming during the pandemic, flooding our devices and probably our psyches too. The problem is that, there are only so many best-in-the-world sport celebrities. After you get through the stories of what made Ronaldo or Messi great, you fall to the coulda-wouldas, the guys who “coulda been a contender” — if only, if only.

Tags French, Netflix, R4

Drama Suspense

Just say No to ’The Wrong Student’ (2017)

Post author By MJ-A
Post date June 26, 2020

The Wrong Student (2017)

The actress Vivica A. Fox has had 2 key roles that convey strength or a killer instinct (Independence Day and Kill Bill). She has leveraged these traits to produce a series of 14 “Wrong” movies for Lifetime TV, of which The Wrong Student is the 2nd film.

Tags R4, USA

Drama

‘Línea de Cuatro’ (2016) is difficult to digest

Post author By MJ-A
Post date April 11, 2020

Línea de Cuatro (2016) - Back Four

Línea de Cuatro might be an unpalatable Argentine version of Diner. Four men in their 30s get together to watch the WC 2014 final between Argentina and Germany. They haven’t been together in the 4 years since their 5th comrade Sebastian killed himself.

Tags Argentina, First-feature, R4

Documentary

‘Infinite Football’ (2018) is long and nothing happens

Post author By MJ-A
Post date August 2, 2019

Infinite Football (2018) - Fotbal Infinit

Infinite Football (original title Fotbal Infinit) is still running the festival circuit and has been favorably described by some very big reviewers, who spout flowery and philosophical essays with sentences too complex to understand. When so little happens in the film, you end up filling the unused space in your mind with meditations on what Director Corneliu Porumboiu is really trying to say.

Tags R4, Romanian

Drama Short

‘The Trophy Thief’ (2015) doesn’t ring true

Post author By MJ-A
Post date January 4, 2017

The Trophy Thief (2015)

I’m sorry, but The Trophy Thief did not open my heart. Instead, I feel manipulated, as if the creators are simply playing to sympathies by casting a short-statured soccer player as Ben, the boy who steals an unjustly-awarded MVP trophy.

Tags Australia, R4

Documentary Short

‘I Play Soccer’ (2011) at a Sierra Leone academy

Post author By MJ-A
Post date December 16, 2016

I Play Soccer is a 6-minute short film about the Sierra Leone football academy run by the Craig Bellamy Foundation. By Stefan Lovgren, the film is more advertising than documentary. Like many soccer movies, I learned more from researching the subject than watching this film.

Tags Africa, British, R4

Comedy

‘Sassy Player’ (2009) is a trans-gender soccer romp

Post author By MJ-A
Post date October 13, 2016

Sassy Player (2009) - แต วเตะตีนระเบิด

You can look at Sassy Player in two ways: either it’s a screwball comedy, or it’s an LGBT coming of age in Thailand soccer movie. Director Poj Arnon’s film แต วเตะตีนระเบิด is a weird combination of the two genres. The 16 new boys in a formerly all-girls high school are forced to form a school soccer team, even though 6-7 of them would rather be cheerleaders.

Tags LGBT, R4, Thailand

Drama

‘Walter’s War’ (2008) leaves much unexplained

Post author By MJ-A
Post date October 6, 2016

Walter's War (2008)

While the facts of Walter Tull’s life are exemplary, the fictional film Walter’s War leaves too much unsaid. Tull’s unique achievements, as one of the first Black British footballers, and then as the first Black British officer in Europe’s trenches, are now heralded.

Tags British, R4, War

Drama

‘The Final Goal’ (1995) is a unique kung fu soccer movie

Post author By MJ-A
Post date January 15, 2016

The Final Goal (1995)

Is this worth watching? When Erik Estrada has top billing, you know it’s going to be cheezy. The best line in The Final Goal is when Estrada’s henchman tells him, “You should have been an actor.”

Estrada is the bad guy bribing 6 players to lose a semi-final game in the Global Cup. The only thing in his way is backup goalkeeper Steven Nijjar, who BTW is also a master of martial arts.

Tags Canada, First-feature, R4

Kids

‘On Angel’s Wings’ (2014) is too much of a fairytale

Post author By MJ-A
Post date September 30, 2015

On Angel's Wings (2014)

On Angel’s Wings is a faith-based family film meant to provide positive African-American role models on the UPTV network. Unfortunately, Writer-Director Aaron Williams stitches together so many model caricatures, he omits telling a story that makes sense.

Tags R4, Religious, UPTV, USA

Documentary

‘Life of Ryan’ (2014) might not be so dull if it were more truthful

Post author By MJ-A
Post date June 14, 2015

Life of Ryan: Caretaker Manager (2014)

It’s hard to believe that Life of Ryan: Caretaker Manager is from Fulwell 73, the same company that produced Class of ’92 and other good football films.

Tags British, Fulwell 73, ManU, R4

Cultural Documentary

‘American Pharaoh’ (2014) too often feels like a home movie

Post author By MJ-A
Post date May 22, 2015

American Pharoah (2014)

American Pharaoh is Hossam Aboul-Magd’s first shot at directing and is a 60 minute documentary for PBS. Hossam is a one-man film crew, following Bradley and his wife Lindsay during their 2 year residency in Cairo. He became their friend, and perhaps that is why the film is so weak.

Tags Egypt, First-feature, R4, USA