Just 4 Kicks (2002)

‘Just 4 Kicks’ (2002) is deplora-ball times two



Just For Kicks is possibly the worst kids soccer movie ever made. The problem is not the classic underdog plot. The story is nonsensical, and the acting by the Sprouse twins is as wooden as a pair of goal posts.

Tom Arnold is the absent Interpol father who takes Scottish player Rudy (Bill Dawes) into protective hiding. While Tom is out of town (for almost the entire movie), Rudy coaches the boys to the state championship.

The soccer is typically bad, with most of the shots being GK-dives-over-the-ball-to-allow-a-goal. Coach Rudy can juggle and does some tricks (it might be a soccer double). Strangely, at the 60th minute, Cobi Jones has a brief appearance as a deliveryman, and he does some juggling too (badly, I might add).

This movie is not one you’d want little kids to watch. The mom and aunt have huge boobs that mesmerize the 9-10 year old boys during practice. On the winning goal, one twin heads the ball with his eyeglasses, breaking them, and while he’s lying on the ground bleeding, and the GK is laughing, the coach starts yelling “Second Effort”, so his brother runs to the ball to score. The refs also allow a lot of trash-talking.

AYSO, how could you?

It’s hard to believe that AYSO sponsored this movie, as the script makes fun of and misstates AYSO as having “10 underlying principles”. The AYSO emblem is prominent, and the referees even wear AYSO badges.

In 2010, MSN Money pegged the Sprouse Brothers as soon to be the richest twins in the world. In order to become a household name, they signed on with Dalstar, the Olsen Twins’ company. At least the Olsen Twins knew how to make a soccer movie; their Switching Goals was okay. Why did the Sprouse Twins go so wrong?

2 Soccer Movie Mom Rating = 2